A season of seeking

There’s a quiet tension that’s been sitting with me lately—one that I can’t seem to resolve, no matter how many times I turn it over in my mind. It’s the question of whether I am being called to start something new or to stay faithful in what I’m already doing.

The idea keeps coming back: a homeschool co-op. Or maybe even something that looks a little more like a school. Each time it surfaces, I feel a mix of excitement and hesitation. On one hand, I see the beauty in it; children learning together, families connecting, gifts being shared, and a sense of community that can be hard to build in the day-to-day rhythm of homeschooling. On the other hand, I feel the weight of it. The time, the structure, the responsibility. Would stepping into something like this take away from the flexibility that has been such a blessing since we started homeschooling?

I find myself asking: Do I want to give more? Or am I already giving what I’m meant to give in this season?

There’s also the question of what a co-op even has to look like. So often, they mirror traditional school schedules—weekly commitments, long semesters, structured expectations. But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if it looked different? What if it was something lighter—more flexible—like a month-long co-op that happens quarterly? Families could commit for just that month, meeting twice a week, then stepping back again. Time to rest, reset, and refocus before the next session.

Would that still be considered a co-op? Or does it need to fit a certain mold to “count”?

And then there’s the deeper question I keep coming back to: What is my role in my child’s education versus the role of community? Homeschooling, at its heart, is about parents teaching their children. I believe that. I value that deeply. But I also see the beauty in shared learning; n children being taught by others who have different gifts, different strengths, different ways of explaining things. There’s something powerful about that kind of “village.”

So where is the balance?

Am I stepping outside of my calling by wanting to teach other children? Or could this be an extension of it?

I don’t have clear answers yet—just a lot of back and forth. Some days I feel ready to build something meaningful and new. Other days I feel a strong pull to protect the simplicity and flexibility we currently have.

Maybe the answer isn’t as black and white as I want it to be. Maybe it’s not about choosing between serving my own family or serving others; but discerning how, and when, and in what capacity I’m meant to do both.

For now, I’m sitting in the tension. Praying. Listening. Holding the idea loosely.

And trusting that if this is something I’m meant to step into, Yah will make that path clear with one small, faithful step at a time.